My life is a chaos of new impressions and ideas.
My job is, to assemble all these little pieces of information into something I can life with.
Woah a new insight. I seem to need constants. Well almost new.
I don't know, if it's because I can't draw, that my attention is draw more and more into other directions.
But actually I believe this recent process of changing had been started much earlier.

I finally learned a way, to keep my attention focused and my habit of procrastinating away from me
and it's so simple, actually it sound ridiculous.
Just stop being manipulated and think about thing you need to do, before you do them.
Not at last so that you can take responsibility for your doings.
Like coming home and thinking: "So, what do I do now?" and not "..." *turns on PC".
It sounds funny, but I was shocked by the amount of freetime i suddenly had!

Because I can's draw atm, I try to think more about my art actively and try to find other media,
read articles and reflect about what in my art has a future and what not.
This is really bound to the thinking about what you're doing before doing something.
The hard thing now is to decide, because I am (obviously) interested in drawing, but also
languages, playing drama, singing, playing the guitar, athletics, martial arts, cycling, dancing, playing the piano, design, writing, speaking... etc.
I can't do all at a time (some even not at all actually) so I need to pick.. But which?
Some things can be combined, or easily exist next to each other (like a sport and something artsy) but when is it too much?
Not to forget that I need to be good in school for a good graduation (super competition stuff).

It's also hard to decide, because I really got into depth in some thing, which I really enjoyed, but I also really doubt, if i can make it as good as i want it to be?
Today I've had a theater-choreography-workshop at our school and it was amazing.
That man told us so much that was really really really helpful in creating a character on stage, on how to observe people and stuff.
But I kinda got sad about that I'm probably going to forget so much...
I really enjoyed working on different ideas, developing conceptual situations and playing them out, receiving criticism.
But he somehow threw around my whole idea of playing in general, and of playing with other characters in the scenes.
He also showed us so many small nuances of body language, communication and argh SO FUCKING MUCH that my head almost exploded with ideas and movements and concepts. But which idea to chose? (You see the whole thing repeats itself).
I tried to write an example, but it got too complicated...

Blah blah ramble.

And whay, Future's approaching, I recently became an (second-degree) uncle and now I learn that my other cousin is pregnant too : D
And and I probably won't start drawing until december again, because I still need to spare my hand for school and the exams.